Getting Turned Away from Fostering Refugee Children in PA

Samantha Bannon

Jenkintown, PA

My wife and I live in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania. My wife is an emergency medicine physician and I formerly worked in the pharmaceutical industry but with the birth of our first daughter in June 2015, I became a stay at home mom. From the beginning, creating a family and children has been a cornerstone of our relationship, and being parents to our 2 daughters brings us immense joy.

In early 2017, my wife and I were moved by the plight of refugee and unaccompanied children who were coming to the United States from areas of the world touched by war, economic strife, and extreme violence. We felt strongly that we could provide a loving, stable home as foster parents for a child escaping difficult circumstances. Our initial research online listed an organization located in our area, which is in the suburbs outside of the city limits of Philadelphia. I registered for an in-person information event hosted by them on March 7, 2017. Shortly after I arrived at their offices, I shared with the staff that we are a two-mom family. Unfortunately, the 3 staff members present were clearly uncomfortable with this information. Two staff members immediately left the room without addressing me. The third individual proceeded to tell me that the organization had never worked with a same-sex family before and she offered to provide me information about organizations in the area that worked with families like ours to become foster parents. I explained that we were specifically interested in fostering a refugee child and, as she knew, there were limited organizations that handled these placements. In response, she stated that refugee children have "already been through enough" and wouldn't be the best fit for placement in our family. These statements were made in front of many other prospective foster parents and garnered a fair bit of attention. I was embarrassed, and at that point, I said thank you for your time and left.

Being a parent is a responsibility that both my wife and I do not take lightly. We do not think our family structure causes either of our daughters any harm or difficulty. To have it insinuated that our family would be an additional burden to bear for a refugee child is inaccurate, insulting and embarrassing. As most organizations that handle the placement of refugee children are faith-based, we decided not to pursue any further inquiries fearing we would face the same humiliating and discriminatory treatment.

I oppose discrimination in foster care and adoption based on religion, sexual orientation, or gender identity because:

 All children deserve the opportunity to live with a loving and stable family. Laws that allow discrimination discourage LGBT families from applying to foster and/or adopt. This is important because, as we know, same-sex couples are significantly more likely to foster and/or adopt than their heterosexual counterparts. LGBT couples are also more like to adopt children who are traditionally more difficult to place in homes (older children and children with disabilities).